How to Make My Wife Happy

Take Good Phone Messages

2011-03-04T16:04:00.000-08:00

Take good phone messages if you want to gain good marks with your wife. It's simple really.

Make your wife happy by taking clear and accurate phone messages.

Have a note pad and a pen in an easy to find spot.

Some people have a white board for family messages and everyone in the family checks it when they come in. Others use a notepad affixed to their fridge.

Write down the name of the person and a short note such as "needs a ride tomorrow" or "book club Saturday. Call her." You could also add the time they called. Getting a clear message will make your wife happy!

If you have call display you don't need to write down the phone number but if you don't - please double check the numbers are correct.

If the language is your second language this can be especially important because I know you are doing more work because you are translating those numbers!

Of course you can always ignore the ringing phone and let voicemail or the answering machine pick up.

2010-11-18T07:13:00.000-08:00

The difference between try and triumph is the umph!

Good relationships take more than trying....they take commitment and constant focus.

But then you knew that!

2010-11-16T21:29:00.000-08:00

If you want to be loved, be lovable.

Ovid

Make Your Wife Happy by Helping Out At Home

2010-11-16T21:15:00.000-08:00

Not only do women like it when their spouse is helping out around the home, researchers (according to a little magazine I was reading the other day) say that 'of 1000 men surveyed 90% of them find that pitching in at home makes them happier with their wives than sitting on the sidelines'. When women are less stressed then they are more supportive and accepting of their husbands. When a wife has help its makes her happy.

Now I couldn't find out who the researchers were or where they had done their survey but I thought I would share that little tidbit with you so you can continue making your wife happy.

There are many more tidbits with concrete things to do in my ebook and you can get yourself a copy simply by clicking on the link that will take you to the website "How to Make My Wife Happy". Give your wife a treat and yourself a bigger one.

Why?

2010-10-24T08:22:00.001-07:00

I just keep thinking about the why. Why is my business in place? Why is the organization I work for doing what it is doing? Why am I a part of it? Why are my husband and I together? Why do you want to keep your wife happy?

Its easy to understand why my organization is doing what it is doing. We have a mission statement. If I get confused I just have to check the mission statement and it will tell me exactly why we are there and what is expected of me. I just have to think about the activity in question and compare it with the mission statement. Do the two match? If so, then I should carry on doing the activity. If they don't - then the activity has to stop. And I find one that fits with our purpose.

I think a marriage is like that. What is the mission statement of your marriage? What a silly thing to ask! But if you think back to your vows of marriage, words like "to love and cherish, in sickness and in health" will probably jump into your mind.

So, going to the bar after work, drinking with the buddies and showing up in the middle of the night and without so much as a phone call probably doesn't fit onto the "love and cherish". Really? Well who would treat someone they love and cherish in that way? Shawna lived with a man who continually exhibited this behavior. One day she asked herself exactly that question. And even though the make up sex was great, she realized the marriage wasn't. She didn't feel loved and cherished. This wife was not happy! Shawna left. Darrell is still enjoying his buddies and they keep him company most evenings.

But then it gets harder. What if you both have an idea of what the new kitchen should look like and you think it will be best this way and she thinks it will be best that way? You say, I love and cherish you - and this will make our lives better if we do it this way. She has the same comment from a different point of view. In this case it comes down to working together to find a solution that you both can live with. In the end it is finding a way to love and cherish and letting go of having to be right.

I guess I am thinking about kitchens right now because ours is in the midst of being renovated. My husband is busy 'mudding' and 'sanding' and getting the wall ready for the new cabinets to arrive. He's working very hard. We didn't have any arguments over how the kitchen should look - fortunately. He's got a good eye for design and so mostly he has made the decisions. We had a slight disagreement about the color of the cabinets but in the end he got his color choice because, once again, I know he has a good eye. He has proved it to me in the past! We did stop everything though while we re-discussed the color of the cabinets. In the end we went with the lighter ones. And then I wanted stainless steel appliances, he wanted white appliances. I wanted the color of stainless steel but I didn't like the fact that I couldn't keep it clean and that - believe it or not! - that I couldn't put magnets on it. We discussed it. I really did not want white appliances! In the end we bought black ones!

How do you keep your wife happy? Think about why are you with the woman you love? Isn't it because you love and cherish her? And in the end doesn't it all come back to the fact that if you love and cherish and make her happy you will feel loved and cherished and happy too?

Just a thought for this morning....

Champagne Anniversary

2010-09-14T20:46:00.001-07:00

Someone told me that when you have an anniversary and the number of years and the number of the date are the same, it is called your champagne anniversary.

So last night we celebrated our Champagne anniversary with champagne! It was lovely. A nice catered meal, roses from our garden as a center piece. The good dishes.

The best part of having a romantic evening is that our attention is focused on each other and not on other things.

Having told you this, I'm doing so because I know you are looking for ways to make your wife happy and I was a very happy wife last night! And I might add, my husband was happy too!

When ‘till death do us part’ has added meaning

2010-07-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

New charity Wish Upon a Wedding helps terminally ill people fulfill dreams, celebrate.

This is great. Read on.

Wives, Waves, and A Good Day on The Ocean

2010-05-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

Marriage, or any relationship for that matter, can be compared to the waves that you see on the ocean. There are some days when our marriage is going along smoothly just like a nice calm day on the ocean. We think that it is utopia and we enjoy the bliss this day can bring. But then a wind comes along and blows the water around and soon we have waves getting bigger and bigger. These waves can be compared to the emotions and disagreements that two people can find effect their relationship. Some days the water can be quite choppy! And we wonder how we will make it though. You may find yourself wondering "How can I make my wife happy?" There are seasons on the ocean....ones where the clouds come in and stay for days and weeks on end, but then there are refreshing rains and lots of sunshine at other times.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is natural for there to be ups and downs, stormy weather, calm times and everything in between in a marriage. Don't despair because things might not be going as smoothly today as they were yesterday. That time can come again. You and your wife can be happy again.

If you would like help to get you and your loved one through the stormy times click here for help and great ideas to make your wife happy and yourself happier.

Oh! Oh! Watch out! Here comes a breaker! Hold on! (lol!)

Chuckle time!

2010-05-23T23:48:00.001-07:00

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

2010-05-23T23:43:00.000-07:00

LOVE ME WHEN I LEAST DESERVE IT BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN I MOST NEED IT.
- Swedish proverb

Latest headline from the UK

2010-05-23T23:17:00.001-07:00

Want to keep the wife happy? Be miserable or risk divorce.

Its an interesting little article that you can find here.

But if you really want to know how to make your wife happy, click here.

2010-02-14T09:42:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day! All you men out there who want to please your wife know that this is a special day for the women of North America and beyond! Its the perfect day for all you men who are wondering "how to make my wife happy".

I will tell you that you don't have to spend money on your wife and that your actions are the important thing. And having said that I also have to say that my wonderful husband bought me a dozen long stemmed pink roses 4 days before Valentine's Day for me to enjoy all week long and then today he gave me a wonderful card that brought tears to my eyes. He handed it to me along with the cup of coffee he had made for me to start my day.

Very romantic? I think so! My husband knows how to make his wife happy!

He doesn't like me buying him cards and presents so I didn't. It was hard because I like to do that, but I knew that he wouldn't be pleased. And not receiving anything did please him. And I got a hug for it!!!

Supper tonight? Something romantic at home where we both want to be - together with no disturbances!

Important fact to remember: what is it that your wife wants to make her happy? What will make a woman happy is having a husband or lover who thinks about what she wants and doing those things that she has told you she likes.

I hope your Valentine's finds your relationship in good health and the two of you finding ways to please each other.

And don't forget, if you need more ideas, just click here to take you to a great many more concrete ideas that you can use to make your wife happy.

Valentine Thoughts to Text

2010-02-07T20:50:00.000-08:00

I found these quotes on a website this evening and thought I would share some of them with you. Why not text your wife with one of these each day until Valentine's Day?

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."
-Unknown

"You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without."
-Unknown

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."
-Saint-Exupery

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."
-Ingrid Bergman

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-St. Augustine

"To love another person is to see the face of God."
-Les Miserables

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."
-Alexander Smith

"The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time."
-Lawrence Durrell

“Very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love."
-Stendhal

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
-Thoreau

"Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."
-Dr. Karl Menninger

"To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best."
-William M. Thackeray

"If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with..."
-Unknown

"Some love lasts a lifetime. True love lasts forever."
-Unknown

"If love is great, and there are no greater things, then what I feel for you must be the greatest."
-Unknown

"The Eskimos have 52 words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love!"
-Margaret Atwood

"Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart."
-Unknown

And don't forget to check out my website for all you husbands "How to Make Your Wife Happy and Yourself Happier"

Secret to a Long Marriage

2009-10-31T22:59:00.000-07:00

A husband asks his wife,
'You never argue when I get mad at you.
How do you always control your anger?'
'I clean the toilet,' she replies.
'How does that help?' he asks.

'I use your toothbrush.'

Perfect Love

2009-07-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

We are all seeking a perfect love.

When you first meet and fall in love with the person of your dreams your old brain (that part of your brain that is the most basic part of that very complicated computer system in your head) expects to find someone who will meet all the needs and desires. Those needs and desires that your parents met when you were a tiny baby.

When you first meet someone they are usually on their best behavior and everything is so great (thinks your old brain) because you have finally found someone just like mama who did all those wonderful things for you.

Of course the problems come when the two of you make a commitment and you both go back to being yourselves. No more best behavior, no more doing it all for the other person. People invariably settle back and human nature is such that we think the other one will continue to cater to our every (expressed or unexpressed) desire. It is not so of course and then there is trouble in paradise.

...To be continued...

Make Your Wife Happy by Leaving A Will

2009-07-02T12:40:00.000-07:00

Last night my husband and I watched a movie called The Bonneville starring Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates and Joan Allen. It is the story of a recently widowed woman who sets out in her late husband’s ‘66 Bonneville Convertible’ with her two best friends to deliver her husband ashes to her stepdaughter. The second wife and the step daughter didn't appear to get along and it looked just like a lot of second marriages that I have come into contact with.

Certain events happen to the three friends on the trip to the funeral organized by the stepdaughter that encourage the widow to fulfill her husband's wishes for his final remains instead of his daughter’s careful carrying out of his long out-dated written wishes.

This is a fun movie but one that has a very real message to husbands to make sure their personal affairs are in order when they die. This movie really highlights what can happen when a person doesn’t get around to writing out a current will when their life circumstances change. To keep your wife happy, make sure you have a will and make sure that you have clearly and legally spelled out who is to get what and what you expect to happen to your final remains. Saying that you don't care is just not good enough if you don't want to cause heartache and if you want to continue to make your wife happy even after you die! It took my second husband and I quite a few years to take ourselves to a lawyer and put our new wishes into legal and signed print. And when we did it was painless! We are very lucky nothing happened to either of us in the meantime.

In the movie, the now deceased husband, had remarried after the death of his first wife. He had moved states and he had 20 years of blissful marriage before he unexpectedly died. His daughter inherited the house and his remains. In real life, at least in Canada, the wife would be able to contest the will and get at least half of the house’s appraised value. For the movie of course, she just lost everything.

When a person is grieving (or anytime for that matter), going through a lawsuit is not something that should have to happen. The daughter, in this movie, and in many situations in real life, resented the second wife. She didn’t have any compassion for the woman and didn’t try to make it easy. I can see both sides of this picture. The daughter is fighting to hang onto her father - from a new woman that seems to have replaced her mother and from death. The new wife (in this case new as in 20 year marriage!) has had an intimate relationship with this man and has promised to carry out the wishes that he has told only her about. There really are no sides to take. Both women are doing the best they can even though the man (father and husband) hasn't lived up to what he could have done to make things easier.

If you or your spouse haven’t updated your will lately, I suggest that you watch this light and humorous movie and then make an appointment with your lawyer. In some areas of the world you can simply have your will notarized, but I suggest that you get legal advice if you are in a second relationship.

For full instructions about what to do when someone you love dies, read the e-book by the same name. For more ways to make your wife happy, check this site.

PS Thanks Sandy for telling me about the movie, it was a well worth watching.

Spend Summer Together to Make Your Wife Happy

2009-06-25T12:35:00.000-07:00

It is important to know when to do things separately and when to do things together. A sense of independence is a good thing as long as it is complemented with lots of quality time together. When there is too much time spent apart, you cannot make your wife happy and your marriage can be in danger of ending.

Gord developed a life of his own and he didn't spend much time with his young wife and growing family. Gord liked to play pool and drink beer after work and on the weekends at the corner bar by his workplace. Sarah liked to sing in a choir, volunteer with a senior's organization and read stacks of library books. When Gord was at home, he watched sports on TV and Sarah read in another room. The children moved in and around the two separated parents. Looking back on it both Gord and Sarah admit that neither husband nor wife were happy.

Then something miraculous happened. They bought a summer place on a lake not too far from the town in which they lived. The family started to spend weekends together; then they started to meet their neighbors and their social life became family events at the lake and in town with their "lakee" neighbors.

Life in the summer was spent renovating the cottage, waterskiing, visiting and eating around the evening campfires. Life in the winter included social events with the same people.

Sarah and Gord's marriage turned from one of a lot of separateness into one of combined bliss! Gord was truly making his wife happy by spending time with her and the children.

Its a good story - and a true story and I was reminded it of it as the hot summer sun is shining into my studio window. Gord had learned how to make his wife and family happy and in the process became much happier himself.

2009-06-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

Not Understood? Say it in a New Way

2009-06-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

My husband and I had a fight today, right in front of our good friends Terry and Al. My husband had told me something and I clearly didn’t understand because I responded in a way that did not make any sense to him. So he repeated what he had said. And I responded again in the same way.

He finally lost his temper and said “Why don’t you listen to me?” Now, I was listening to him. But I wasn’t getting any clues as to the fact that he meant something different than I was interpreting.

This definitely wasn't a case 'how to make your wife happy'!

Our friend Al said “What part of it didn’t you understand?” I said “All of it!” And then I asked “Can you say it in other words?”

And so my husband rephrased his statement. Oh! I got it! I finally understood.

The reason I am writing about this now is because there is a song on the radio right now and it has the lyric “Say what you need to say”. John Maher, the singer, repeats the phrase over and over and over again. (I counted 16 times!)

My point is don’t keep repeating the same thing. Rephrase it. It helps people to understand it and in the case of John Maher would make the song so much more interesting! Don’t say the same thing over and over. Rephrase it so that the person who is listening can hear it in a new way.

People have different perceptions about what things mean and when they are stuck in one way of looking at something they sometimes need to be physically or at least metaphorically moved to see the meaning of your words. Change the words – move into a new position and think about how you can get your point across in a new way.

Ok, I think I have said that enough. This post is over.

Make Your Wife Happy: Understanding the Power of YES and NO

2009-06-12T12:47:00.000-07:00

Do you want to know how and when to say yes to keep your wife happy and how and when to say no to make your wife happy? Is it possible? Can you do it?

Of course, you can and no it isn't hard!

I've taught courses in communications where I have espoused the notion: "Say ‘yes' every chance you get". I've also taught courses in Stress and Time Management that say "Just say no." So what is it? I'm going to suggest to you that there is a time and a place for each - but the key to remember is that you are always saying "yes" to building an even greater relationship with your wife and "no" to the outside influences that can detract from that relationship.

In a relationship, yes is a very good little word to call upon especially when you are focusing on how to make your wife happy and how to keep your wife happy! Being open and positive to the events that take place in a relationship can help to rejuvenate, invigorate and fulfill a couple's joy of each other.

It can make a good marriage into a great one.

You can read the rest of this article on my website.

Have a wonderful - almost summer - day!

Father's Day

2009-06-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the fact that Father's Day is coming up soon. Here in Canada, and with our good neighbors to the south, we celebrate Father's Day in June.

If you have a wife whose Father has died recently, it might be a tough time for her. But there are some thoughts about things that you can do to alleviate some of the pain.

On Father's Day, some people wear a white rose to give tribute to their deceased father. I just learned that while writing my latest e-book, and my dad died 50 years ago! I think I might do it this year.

Each year on Father's Day, I have friends who sit down to a meal of fish and chips bought from the little corner Fish'n Chip shop in their neighborhood. Why? Because "Dad" loved those fish 'n chips. It was his favorite meal. So they do it in his memory. There might be other things that Dad liked to do that your family could do to honor the memory.

Of course not all fathers are remembered in a good light. Sometimes the relationship was non-existant or was filled with abuse. Father's Day can be a hard day in that respect as well.

I want to suggest to you that Father's Day is about honoring the men in your life that have contributed to your growth, education, happiness and well-being. It does not have to be just about a biological father. Perhaps it is an adopted father, a favorite uncle, or a grandfather. If there is someone like that in either of your lives, why not do something special for him? Send a card, take to a ball-game, share a ice-cream cake. Something fun that he would enjoy.

Traditions are an important part of any family or relationship. The two of you can create your own traditions that fit with your values and your experience.

Will that keep your wife happy? I think so!

Best Friends

2009-06-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

I love my husband. He is my best friend. I try to do nice things for him all the time and I notice that he does the same. We have a mutual admiration society. I make him happy and he knows how to make his wife happy!

It isn't that we don't natter at each other and we do have differences of opinions, but generally we think fairly closely alike.

When I met him, I liked him immediately, but I didn't want to make the same mistake that I made the first time. I didn't want to jump into a relationship and then discover I had made a mistake. We took it slow. We dated for a whole year. And then one day...we had bought a house together and you know the old saying 'the rest was history'.

I have pretty good communications skills. I know the theory and I think that a lot of the time I do it right. But I'm human and I don't get it right all the time. I think I could say the same for him, except for him, he keeps his communications more to a minimum. He's one of those men that believe in 'a need to know basis'.

Well, here is a tip from a wife....we need to know it all!!!

How to keep your wife happy? Tell her lots. Keep her posted on the little tidbits. Tell her what you think of her hair, her new purse, those cute little shoes she has on. You will make her happy!!! Believe me.

You can visit my website if you want to learn more about how to keep your wife happy.

Lord Byron Knows

2009-05-16T20:02:00.001-07:00

This might help you to understand a woman:

Man's love is of man's life a thing apart,
'Tis woman's whole existence.

-Byron, Don Juan

How Do I Make My Wife Happy?

2009-04-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

The question is often repeated "How do I make my wife happy?" Have you ever discussed your roles in your marriage with your wife? Have you ever sat down and defined what jobs you do and what jobs she does? Sometimes when couples are in difficulties it is because the role wasn't clearly defined and understood by each partner. Here is a strategy that can help you make your wife happy....more

The link will take you to the article I have just posted on my website. It will give you some helpful hints to improving your marriage - whether your marriage is already good and you want it to be great or whether you are fumbling around trying to figure out this relationship thing!

Never too long married to Flirt

2009-04-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

My friend said to me the other day, don't call me on my cell, text me. It's cheaper. So I've started texting. And I'm not a teenager!

I've been reading in the paper that people are flirtexting! Now doesn't that sound like fun? Instead of leaving little love notes around the house on postit notes - now I can send little love notes to my honey and only he will get them. And he can do the same. After all this is definitely a way he can make his wife happy. Someone called it Textual Intercourse. I don't think you are ever too old to flirt with your wife.

Motorola did a study. Christina Montgomery of Canwest News Service reported that 42% of young people (18 - 34) woo through text messaging in Canada. 35% use Facebook or Instant Messaging. And the newspaper also said that "just over one in 10 Canadians 55 or older use Facebook (15%) or instant messaging (12%) to flirt. In a surprising finding, a full 10 % of all ages would drop the hint that the romance was over by simply changing their dating status on Facebook, according to the pole.

Want to try it? Here are a few suggestions. Send me any others you might think would be great to share.

Drink l8r?

Luv u!

want 2 grab a latte l8r?

GTH4U (got the hots for you)

W2BAI (want to be an item?)

C4U (crazy for you)

:-*( (I want more than a kiss on the cheek)

My advice - just say things that she will understand. If you are new to texting some of the above statements will go right over her head - and miss her heart completely.

Flirtext responsibly!

Date Night in The Living Room

2009-04-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

Here's a few great ideas to make your wife happy and yourself happier. I just read about a couple of them in a magazine (and I came up with the second two) and I have to tell you - if it was my husband suggesting these things - I'd be happy. PS. He is making me happy right now - while I'm working away on the computer he is out planting new strawberry plants....can't wait for the strawberry shortcake in June!!!!

Here are the ideas that can be done after you push all the furniture in the living room back.

Idea number one. Take her to a dance. Put your favorite music on and take her dancing right in the middle of the living room floor. What fun! Add a few truffles and maybe a glass of the bubbly. What a great way to play!

Idea number two. End the dance with a "sleep over" in the living room. Pull out the foamy, a couple of sheets and a duvet and enjoy the living room floor. You can add your own details to your sleep over.

Idea number three. In the morning - you can serve her breakfast in bed on the floor - hey I know! try strawberries and waffles for a real treat. Don't forget the whipped cream!

Idea number four. Toss a coin to see who is going to clean up the living room and wipe up the whipping cream that went astray.

Have fun! And remember - if you want more ideas about how to make your wife happier - and yourself too - go to my website and you will find many awesome suggestions in both things to do and ways to act and communicate!

Appreciate the moment!

2009-04-07T05:43:00.000-07:00

The key to happiness is to appreciate the moment - yes - the one that you are in right now. Sometimes I forget this. And when I do, it doesn't matter what anyone around me says or does I cannot find happiness. I had a day like that yesterday. I found myself worrying about all the things that I thought were lacking in my life. And when a person gets on that bandwagon - a lot of things can appear to be lacking.

I will spare you the details of my discontent but I will tell you it was painful!

This morning though I have woken up with a new attitude. I gave myself a talking to before I went to sleep last night and when I woke up I remembered all the wonderful things that are happening in my life. Of course its easy when one wakes up scrunched between husband and pet dog! Oh yeah, I have a great husband and a wonderful little furry companion! And as I lay there in the early hours of the morning, before the light had broken and even before the birds had began singing, I thought to myself "Laurie, you need to stay grounded in the moment." And I asked myself "What are the things that are working for you now?" The funny thing is...the list was longer than the disadvantaged list I was working on yesterday.

Perhaps I just had spring fever. Like my grandson on Facebook who posted last night "I'm soooo bored!"

My message for you all - out there reading this on whatever day in whatever season it is for you at this moment of reading - is celebrate the moment. Celebrate all that you have right this very moment. When you are happy, you are happy just because it comes up from your very essence. And when you are happy, others around you can feel it and often others want to be around you because of your happiness.

I'm going to enjoy this day, for this day's sake. And I'm going to share my enjoyment with my husband and anyone else who shows up in my life today. How about you? Will you do the same? This blog may be about 'how to make my wife happy' and its my job to remind you again, you have to start with you! So, here is my benediction to you. Go out and be happy. Appreciate the moment. Carpe Diem!

2009-03-10T10:54:00.000-07:00

On one of the advice sites, a young man asked how he could make a good impression on a young woman he wanted to ask out for a date. The answer is universal. How do we make a good impression on another person? And your question might be “How do I sustain that good impression?” Here is the answer I gave that young man:

Be interested in her. Ask her questions about herself and listen to the answers. Treat her as a special person and remember her likes and dislikes. Be polite to her. Tell her about what is important to you. Share your feelings with her.

Dress neatly and tidily. Make sure your nails are clean and your smile is glistening ... oh and that your breath smells fresh. (To you husbands out there - don’t get rid of that breath freshener once you are married – keep using it!)

When you like someone, it will show. Spending time with her and treating her with respect is always a good start. Invite her to come to events that you will be at...a sports game...a pep rally....a chess club...whatever you are doing. (Ok, you are married now and want to make your wife happy and so the same rule applies - do things together that you both enjoy - not just what you want her to like to do with you.)

So, for what it is worth – that was my advice. For all you husbands who want to make your wife happy – remember she fell in love with you - did you change your behavior once you married? Better think about that and remember all the great things you used to do (and it works both ways, doesn’t it?)

Have a great day and smile!

Valentine's Day Is Coming!

2009-02-11T08:43:00.000-08:00

It is the countdown to Valentine's Day. My most favorite day of the year!

I'm so excited - I love Valentine's Day!

All the women in the whole wide world - ok, ok....I'll start that again.....

Many women in the Western Hemisphere are as excited as I am! Full of anticipation. What wonderful, romantic thing is our husband/bf going to do for us this Valentine's day?

I know you men aren't that excited but we women are!

I'm making Valentine Cookies for my husband as a surprise (unless he peeks at this post) and then I've got a little trip to the beach planned - maybe some name writing in the sand.... and oh, yes, I do know what he has planned. It involves going out and a steak dinner with entertainment. He found a 'deal' and thinks it would be fun. We'll have fun! So our day and evening is planned!

Have you got a plan yet? Even a small box of chocolates and candles on the dinner table will help!

I've got a great idea for you to do. It is one of the bonuses on the How to Make Your Wife Happy website. This just might be the right time to check it out and the eBook "97 Steps to a Happy Relationship" which will really come in handy at this time of year and all year round if you want to be a good husband and keep your wife happy or make that special woman in your life happy!

Have a romantic, wonderful, awesome, and happy Valentine's Day! (I told you I was excited!)

I love you more than....

2009-01-24T09:06:00.000-08:00

He: "I love you more than all the stars in the sky."
She: "I love you more than all the snowflakes that have ever fallen onto the earth."
He: "I love you more than all the Oreo cookies ever made!"

It is a silly little game that Yvonne and Paul play and Yvonne laughed as she told me "You can really feel the love!"

Yvonne and Paul play it all the time: while driving in the car, while walking the dog, while cleaning up the supper dishes. Yvonne was telling me about it and had me playing this game over a game of cards last night.

Some husbands I know of say "I told you when I married you I loved you and if I change my mind, I'll let you know." For some people - actually for a few people - that may be all they need but I want to tell you that for most people - especially women - they need to hear it more often. Yes, I know, actions speak louder than words, but we still need to hear the words. Tell her "I love you" anytime of the day or night and anywhere you are. Yes, back it up with actions but please tell her.

Ways you can tell her "I love you":

whisper it in her ear
yell it to her in the other room
write it on the top of a cake
put it into a poem
buy a card with it in it
have it written in the sky
put it on a billboard
carve it into wood
tramp it in the snow (that would be an accomplishment....take a picture and send it to me!)
write it on the wet sand of a beach
paint it on a canvas
cut the letters out of a magazine and tape them onto the fridge.

I love you more than the number of blogs on the internet.....now can you feel the love?

Think About What You Say and Do

2009-01-22T15:41:00.000-08:00

I want to share a little story with you that a client told me and told me it would be fine if I put it on my blog.

This man told me that he went through a period of time of being upset with his wife all the time. It didn't matter what his wife said it was wrong! Sometimes he would get mad at her and other times he would just stomp into another room and stay there. Then his sister said to him one day "You are sniping at your wife a lot!" And he thought, "Yes, I am. But why am I doing that? I love her. I love her being around." He told me "I forced myself to say to my sister "I know you are right, I'm going to have to change that." I did! I did say that and it was hard for me to do because deep down inside I'm Fonzie and I don't like to admit that I am wr...wrrrr....wrronng."

Just having that simple little chat, he turned his communication around. He is thinking before he reacts. He is taking that extra minute to think about what he wants to say.

What I want to tell you about this is that we all have an instant reaction to a statement or an action, but we don't have to respond with the first thing that comes into our head. We can take a minute, evaluate the effect of what we are going to say and determine if it is the right thing to say.

This is true for both men and women. And it can go a long way to having a happy and well-functioning relationship.

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

2009-01-16T18:42:00.000-08:00

Just a little joke I found on Stumble and thought you might like...I'm afraid of spiders so I fit the bill....

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh,
rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

Happy New Year

2009-01-06T09:04:00.000-08:00

Make a Big Deal of Your Wife

2008-12-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

I found this little article I thought you might like to read..... the link is at the end. I loved the little profanity at the end....to cleanse your palate of sweetness, he said!!!

A long time ago when my wife was my girlfriend and we were LIVING IN SIN, a tradition was born. I'd like to now share it with you all.

I came home from work one day and found her in front of the computer. I said "Hello," and she barely grunted back. I don't even think she looked up.

Half-jokingly I responded, "Okay, we're gonna try this again." I walked out the front door and came back in a few moments later...

"STEVIE'S HOME, STEVIE'S HOME!!! YAY!!!" was the new over-the-top cheer I was greeted with. It was accompanied by a hug and kisses. And I loved it.

What began as a joke quickly became an ongoing practice that continues to this day in our house: The person who is home first must make a small fuss when the other person gets there. Read the rest of the article.

Romantic Names

2008-11-25T15:29:00.000-08:00

The people at Make Sweet been trying to come up with good romantic nicknames. It isn't as easy as it sounds. Most of the lists lying around online are rather dull. Here's what they've got so far:

* Chuckle-cheeks. For someone who seems to be always laughing.

* Goose-bumps. For someone a little silly who tends to trip over things, or someone who sends a shiver down your spine, or both.

* Snugglepuss. For someone who makes you want to cuddle up with them like a cat.

* Dumble-dear. For a fan of the Harry Potter series.

* Pookie-snooks. For someone whose nose you want to stroke.

* Poptart. For someone musical and sweet. Actually the meaning of this one is subject to interpretation ;-)

* Jiggles McJiggypants. For somebody who can't sit still.

* Twinkle-toes. A good, or terrible, dancer.

* Nuzzle-nose. Like pookie-snooks except nuzzlier.

* Snoopy. For a cute little puppy.

* Poopy. For a cuter littler puppy (so young and cute they maybe aren't even house-trained yet).

* Fox-trot. Someone foxy you'd like to dance with.

* Sweetmeat. This is just another word for candy/sweets, but it sounds quite... tasty.

* Happy-feet. Like twinkle-toes, except feetier.

* Shivers O'Chestnuts. This is actually pretty bad.

* Sir/Madam Laughs-a-Lot. This is even worse.

* Shiny-eyes. Someone with a gleam in their eye.

* Sparkles. Someone who lights up a room.

* Fishbreath. Use only if you can say it lovingly enough to distract from its actual meaning.

They have some other fun stuff on their site that you might like to explore. I found it and started playing and well, it put a dint in my day! But it was fun!

Let me know what pet names you use. I'm pretty boring I guess - I just use 'honey' and 'Sweetie Pie' but when my son was a baby he was 'pumpkin' - I've never understood why or where I picked that one up!

Have fun, fishbreath - oops I mean, Sparkles!

A Little Thing Can Make Such a Difference

2008-11-24T14:31:00.000-08:00

I enjoy surfing the net and finding interesting things on the topic of How to Make Your Wife Happy. This post came from a blog of a woman who at the time of writing was about to celebrate her 13th wedding anniversary. I liked the message and thought I would share it with you. Here is what she had to say:

Thirteen years ago, I don’t think I could comprehend how difficult marriage can be. Raising a family and managing personal and professional lives can be daunting, stressful, and sometimes downright overwhelming. And since neither of us is perfect, we mess up a lot, and cause even greater stress on one another, than we would alone.

But it occurred to me recently, the invisible ways I’ve come to rely on my husband. After thirteen years together, there’s a rhythm of responsibility. Sometimes this rhythm is out of whack and called into question. Sometimes the drum doesn’t beat at all and our whole family falls into a chaotic abyss. But sometimes, the rhythm keeps time in areas I don’t even recognize.

For instance, I never gas up the car....

To read the complete story go to her site by clicking here.

How to Be A Sex God

2008-11-23T14:51:00.001-08:00

I found a blog that I would like to share with you. It starts this way and you can click on the link and read the rest. Parts of it are so good, I wish I had written it myself. However, I think men are doing a great job of making us women happy, so if there is a bit of bias showing - please excuse us women (yes, I say that on behalf of all of us!)

In this article, I especially like how she draws the analogy of men and women with Macs and PC's. Yes, we are different and we are always learning how to understand the other.

Enjoy the blog!

P.S. The blog is called Memarie Lane.

Excerpt from How to be a Sex God

After six and a half years of marriage I have come to realize that men tend to be very misguided when it comes to what makes women happy physically. For women, desire must first be ignited in the heart, but men seem to think the wedding ring is a loophole allowing them to bypass that part. They’ve signed themselves over, what further proof of love to we need? Hate to break it to you guys, but it must be constantly reaffirmed. The good news is, this is a lot easier to do than you’d think.

I think the biggest obstacle for men is that they tend to project what they want as men onto the women they’re with, and it just doesn’t work that way. For example, imagine what would happen if you tried to run a PC program on a Mac. Just wouldn’t work would it? Or you can look at it like two different gadgets that need charging. They may both may fit the same AC adaptor, but that doesn’t mean the voltage is right for both of them. Women require a different voltage than men, and the drivers need constant updating. You do it for your ipod, you can do it for your wife too. Click here to read the entire post.

Insert the word Wife for Girl and the meaning is the same!

2008-11-22T13:12:00.000-08:00

K I D ' S I D E A S A B O U T L O V E

2008-11-20T18:12:00.000-08:00

Kids, aged 5 to 10, were asked questions about what they thought of love and marriage. Here's what they said.

Love and Marriage:

"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7

"Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -- John, age 9

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8

"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -- Mike, 10

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when Dinosaurs is on television." -- Jill, age 6

"One of the people has freckles, and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." -- Andrew, age 6

"My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That's what I'll do. I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -- Carolyn, age 8

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7

"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." -- Ava, age 8

"When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced.'" -- Anita, 9

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." -- Regina, age 10

"Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one." -- Angie, age 10

"A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together." -- Marlon, age 10

"[Being] single is better . . . for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." -- Kirsten, age 10

"Love is foolish...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave, age 8

Take the test

2008-11-15T16:33:00.001-08:00

Take this little test by clicking on the words "this little test" to see if you understand what men and women are saying to each other.

The Five Toughest Questions For Men

2008-11-15T16:19:00.000-08:00

Here's a little humor for you I found on a blog called James S. Huggins Refrigerator Door

1. What are you thinking about?

2. Do you love me?

3. Do I look fat?

4. Do you think she is prettier than me?

5. What would you do if I died?

Here is the problem: If the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth), every single one is absolutely guaranteed to explode into a major argument.

As a public service, I analyze each question and provide the possible answers.

#1: What are you thinking about?

The best answer to this is:

"I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which is, most likely, one of the following:

a. Baseball.

b. Football.

c. How fat you are.

d. How much prettier she is than you.

e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best classic response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg: "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")

#2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES!"

If you feel a more detailed answer is in order:
"Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Yah, sure, you betcha.

b. Would it make you feel better if I said "yes"?

c. That depends on exactly what you mean by love.

d. Does it matter?

e. Who, me?

#3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic:
"Of course not!"

Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?

b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.

c. A little extra weight looks good on you.

d. I've seen fatter.

e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

#4: Do you think she's prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic:
"Of course not!"

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.

b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.

c. Not as pretty as you, when you were her age.

d. It depends on how you define pretty.

e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

#5: What would you do if I died?

This is the all-time, no-win question.

(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Corvette.")

There is no good answer.

No matter how you answer, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:

Woman: Would you get married again?

Man: Definitely not!

Woman: Why not? Don't you like being married?

Man: Of course I do.

Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

Man: Okay, I'd get married again.

Woman: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)

Man: Yes, I would.

Woman: (After a long pause) Would you sleep with her in our bed?

Man: Where else would we sleep?

Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?

Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?

Man: She can't use them; she's left-handed.

Still Don't Understand Women? Read my E-book!

2008-11-14T23:16:00.000-08:00

Tips for Husbands Visiting the In-Laws at Thanksgiving

2008-11-14T08:28:00.000-08:00

I know it is not always easy for you to go and visit the in-laws. It is for some, but others find it tiring, frustrating, and it takes them out of their comfort zone.

I've heard a litany of complaints and observations from husbands who tell me their tales of woes going to the in-laws. I've heard about the neat freaks, and the mother-in-laws who cook the food beyond recognition. I've heard about the families who ignore the husband (What am I - invisible? one man said to me). One client told me that his mother-in-law would tell his wife what she wanted him to know. "Mom" would never speak directly to her son-in-law. Sure these are horror stories and most people aren't that way, right?

Regardless of whether you are visiting the in-laws from hell or you just want to make sure that you put on your best behavior, I have some tips for you. You can use it anytime you are going to the in-laws.

Take a hostess gift for "Mom". It could be flowers, chocolates, fruit, a small plant. Ask your wife what she thinks would make "Mom" happy. But remember if you come up with it yourself, your wife will most likely tell the family "And Rob came up with this present all by himself!"

Take "Dad" a gift. Perhaps his favorite drink. That could be alcoholic, but it doesn't have to be. It could be a bag of gourmet coffee beans!

Arrive when you said you would.

Be prepared to be one of the crowd and not the one in control of how things are happening. Remember that you are only staying for a few hours or a few days and once the visit is over you can go back to being the captain of your own fate.

If you tell a story, make sure it is a story about something positive about your wife. Make her the focal point of the story - do not put yourself in the starring role.

Offer to set the table, carry the gravy or clean up afterwards. Pitch in where you can. Don't just sit on the couch watching the football game and drinking beer with the brothers.

If asked to give thanks, or if you have the opportunity, let people know that you are giving thanks for your wife and for her family.

Love the meal. Be sure to say something sincere and nice about the food that has been cooked. Even if the turkey is mushy and the potatoes are lumpy, find something real and good to say.

Keep these things in mind and let yourself be flexible and relax about the visit. You might even come away thinking 'it wasn't so bad after all'.

What You Don't Want to Happen

2008-11-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

February 13, 2008: Infidelity, incompatibility among highest causes of divorce, says poll

by Jeffrey Cottrill

Taken from Divorce News

TORONTO -- What causes people to divorce? It's a very subjective question, of course: the reasons married couples have for breaking up are as various as their reasons for falling in love. However, there are some issues that come up frequently among couples -- especially infidelity, poor communication, abuse, and just plain incompatibility.

A 2006 poll by DivorceMagazine.com asked its online readers the simple question: "What caused your separation/divorce?" The poll offered nine separate answers and told respondents to choose which one was the single strongest factor in the marital breakdown. The poll closed on October 31, 2006, after a total of 1514 people (1033 of them women) had responded.

Out of the whole, 23% of respondents claimed infidelity as the dominant factor in triggering their separations or divorces. Communication problems came a close second at 22%, followed by basic incompatibility with 18% and emotional or physical abuse with 17%.

Other cited answers in the poll: 8% of respondents cited drug addiction or alcoholism as the strongest factor, followed by money problems at 6%, one spouse being a workaholic at 3%, and a change in one spouse's appearance at 2%.

However, it's worth noting that the top answers differed noticeably between male and female respondents.

In the men's case, basic incompatibility was the top choice, as picked by 27% of respondents. Communication problems were second with men, at 25%; after that, men answered infidelity (19%) and abuse (11%).

On the female side, nearly a quarter of the women polled chose infidelity as the dominant reason for their divorce. Second for women was communication, at 20%, followed closely by abuse at 19% and basic incompatibility at only 14%.

So what does the gender difference mean? Any answer would probably be suspect of sexist generalization, of course, but the poll results seem to imply that men and women may have slightly different ideas as to what defines or constitutes "incompatibility" in a relationship, and/or what level of marital incompatibility is a sufficient reason to initiate a divorce. However, it's obvious overall that personal and physical compatibility is a must for a marriage, however you perceive or define it. And anyone would agree that communication is vitally important to the strength and longevity of a relationship.

A Kiss To Make Her Happy

2008-11-04T18:49:00.000-08:00

2008-10-31T06:57:00.000-07:00

Are there days when you just want to be alone and if anyone comes around you, you just want to roar? That's what one of my clients said to me the other day. He was worried that he would strike out and hurt someone in his frustration even though usually he isn't a violent man. There are two ways that we looked at what to do when that happens, that can makes sure he is getting what he needs while not depriving wife and family of what they need. It was a good discussion for a man who had been feeling very frustrated in only thinking about what he should do for others and forgetting about what he needed to do for him!

If you are reading this and wishing you had someone to talk to about any of the bumps in your marriage, remember that one of the bonuses when you purchase the book "97 Steps" is that you get a chance to email me with a question.

Don't forget that just because your goal is 'to keep my wife happy' or 'to make my wife happy' you also need to look after your own happiness and find that balance.

To get to that bonus click here: www.howtomakemywifehappy.com

Women Make Friends, Men Join Clubs

2008-10-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

As I am sitting here, I'm looking out the window and a man and his two huskies have just run by. It looks like all three of them were enjoying themselves. Half way through this sentence a woman and her dog jogged by going in the opposite direction. And now I hear my husband and our dog coming in the basement door, Jujube tearing up the stairs - he always has to be first like any good dog. Now my dog is perched on his chair in front of the window so he can monitor all the rest of the dogs that are going to go by. Important stuff for a dog!

A dog is man's best friend, right. Take that literally and then ask "Who is woman's best friend?" Is it her children? Her husband? Her pets?

How about all of the above! Friendships are a female gift, a study from Manchester University concluded and quoted in an article by Sarah Sands. Women live for their friendships in childhood and adulthood. When I first met my husband I systematically introduced him to ALL my friends. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out if he had any friends. I met all his working relationships, but they didn't seem to be "best friends".

But of course I had forgotten the adage: "Women make friends, men join clubs".

The University of Western Ontario came up with a simple formula on male/female friendship. Women are face to face, men are side by side. Women have lunch, men go to matches. Women keep friends, men lose them.

It is visibly true that women are far more aware of each other. They conduct spot checks on other women in the street; they notice hairstyles and fashion and weight and degrees of ageing. Men look at the finished effect, women dissect the work that has gone into it. Their friendships start by being analytical and progress through psychotherapy. They acknowledge vulnerability and conflict in a way that men would not dream of.

Can you imagine a man on the touchline asking, "So how do you manage work and children?" Women are much better at the maintenance of friendship in the same way that they are better at organising Christmas and remembering dates of the school calendar. They monitor friendship, they make sacrifices for it. It is an end in itself. Men prefer a context for friendship, which is why their friends are often work colleagues.

To read more on this topic click here.

Setting Goals

2008-10-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

I was reading some of the goals that people put up on the social networking site called "43 Things" and I discovered men who say "Make my wife happy" as one of the important goals in their life.

I'm with you, boys! If I can be of any help, just let me know!

Step 1:
The trick is that no one can MAKE anyone else anything. You can set an atmosphere that allows others to choose what you are offering. And I have all sorts of ideas about that in the material I offer on my website.

Step 2:
You know you get what you focus on. When you are focused on a goal and working toward that goal everyday, you will see the results. Just keep at it. Sometimes it just seems like baby steps, but in the end, there are a whole bunch of steps leading you right to your goal - and if you were going in the right direction, you are going to be a whole lot closer.

Step 3:
Help you to go in the right direction is right there waiting for you at www.howtomakemywifehappy.com

2008-10-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

Wow! The sun is shining and its a beautiful day here in Victoria. Later this morning Helmuth and I are going to go for our weekly walk through Royal Roads University grounds. We've started taking the camera with us, it gives us great memories and we can use the pictures for blogs and things!

Our walk is for a couple of reasons. One is that we like to do things together but the other reason is that we have a friend, Christine, who mentors us in the way of all things Internet. She was the one that suggested we walk together once a week and chat about our internet businesses.

I really look forward to Wednesday mornings. Christine always challenges me to do more than I am doing and she gives me homework! Usually I do it....I'm covering myself here because I have a couple more articles to get published from my last week's homework, but I'm well on my way!

I'm not sure how we got so lucky to have such a friend as Christine but I feel very fortunate.

The pictures above are from our walks.

How to Make Your Wife Happy at Christmas: Be a Christmas Romantic

2008-10-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

I know it is kind of early to be talking about Christmas, but sometimes, you just have to start planning early. Take a look at the following article on my website: How to Make Your Wife Happy at Christmastime: Be A Christmas Romantic.

*** Note to the readers from the USA - I use the word chesterfield. I've been told the term in the US is sofa. (And we think we speak the same language!)

Survival Tips in Any Kind of Crisis

2008-10-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

I am not going to ask you the condition of your finances however I am going to ask you about your state of emotions. If you are one of the many people who are going through a turbulent time financially (or otherwise) right now, how are you dealing with it? I want to give you some advice about how to do that. I don't want you to lose your money and your wife. I don't want you to lose the really important parts of your life. The really important parts - your wife, your family, your friends - all those relationships that you have that are the keystone of what is important.

Step one is to remember the importance of the relationships. Don't take your frustrations out on the ones you love and the ones who love you.

Keep things in perspective. Money is money. A roof over your head is important, but having the love of your life beside you throughout it all is even more important.

I don't know what is going to happen, but I do know that our journey here on earth is an adventure and we cannot always control the adventure. We might have to go with the flow for awhile. And isn't it better to go with others than doing it alone?

My first husband and I went through a time in our lives when we almost lost our whole business and the employees and contractors that were working for us, all the equipment and the contracts. We were down to the final days in our house before repossession. I literally watched my husband's hair turn gray. I watched the lines appear on his face. (Don't ask me, I wasn't watching my face, but that's probably when I started acquiring lines on my face too!) It was a long climb for us but we did manage to climb out of the financial crisis. I tell you this so that you know I have been there in the past and have FELT what it feels like.

So how do you keep yourself from exploding at the family? How do you keep yourself sane when all about you others are going mad?

Here are some tips. Put them into action in your life:

1.) When something is said or done that causes a reaction within you, stop. Before you respond, take several deep breaths. Count to 15. Visualize the big picture. Visualize the loving relationship that you have with this person. Give yourself time to choose your response, rather than reacting without thinking. If you need to tell the other person that you need time, say "Just a minute." Or use the famous line by John Cage from the TV show Ally McBeal: "I need a moment."

2.) Take up a physical sport that you do daily or at least 3 times a week. I suggest jogging. Jogging doesn't cost money! Anything that requires physical exercise. It could be shoveling snow or digging holes in your garden!

3.) Take up Tai Chi, Kung Fu, or any other of the martial arts that gets your physical, focuses you, and takes into consideration the holistic you.

4.) Give up caffeine. Really! It helps you keep calm all day and evening. And helps you sleep.

5.) If you have the urge to hit someone, pick up something soft and throw it as hard as you can at the floor, wall or ceiling. Don't aim it at anyone.

6.) Have a friend that you can talk out your problems with - whether it be your wife, another man, or your sister. Perhaps a counselor or a coach. (Hey, you could hire me!) When people discuss the things that are bothering them and get another's input into the situation they are able to deal with anything in a much stronger way.

7.) Don't take on more than you can manage. Especially in times of stress. Draw back with your commitments and look after yourself and your family first. Don't pressure yourself to achieve more than you can handle. You may have to learn how to say "no" to committees, organizations and friends. At least until you have your life back in control. At the same time, I need to tell you, help others if you can. Helping others takes the stress and focus off of your own problems and helps you feel good about yourself. The important rule for you now is to take on what you can handle and not to over extend yourself. Find the balance.

8.) Pay attention to the music that you put on your IPOD. Have one play list that is relaxing, de-stressing music that you can pop into your ears when you need to find a calm moment.

9.) Be proactive. Create a lifestyle that doesn't tax your resources. Do what you need to at work and at home that shows your leadership ability and your ablilty to solve problems - no matter how big or how small. Give yourself little victories everyday.

10.) Remember to say "I love you" whenever you can. Get that kiss and hug. Find something to make you and your spouse or family laugh each day. Remember to enjoy life throughout the hardships.

Yes, it is possible. Many have gone before us and done the same. Use the positive people as your role model, not the negative or the victims.

AND KEEP THE WIFE HAPPY!

The Perfect Husband

2008-10-13T09:52:00.000-07:00

by Ogden Nash

He tells you when you've got on
too much lipstick
And helps you with your girdle
when your hips stick.

Foot Massage for Her

2008-10-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

Foot massage is one of the most unbelievably relaxing treats that you can give to your wife. It also can be incredibly romantic.

The information below is a guide to foot massage from Dr Foot. Some benefits of reflexology will happen automatically simply by virtue of massaging the soles of the feet but the main objective is to help tired feet feel better!

Preparation for Foot Massage

If you are giving a foot massage to your wife than ensure that the massage foot is comfortably reclined on a pillow or a sofa.

It has been recommended that soft music or a meditation CD can provide the perfect catalyst to get you in the mood for a foot massage. There are various creams and oils that can be used for a foot massage. However, we recommend the use of essential massage oils to achieve an ultimately relaxing foot massage. To begin with make sure the feet are clean, a foot soak with Epsom salts is a wonderful way to de-stress before a foot massage. Make sure that her feet are completely dry (including in between toes) before you start.

Foot Massage Techniques

1. Stroking

This technique stimulates the blood vessels in her feet and promotes gentle heat. Hold the foot in your hands and begin to massage the top surface of the foot. Use your thumbs in a slow, firm stroking motion, starting at the toes and moving up to the ankle. Once you have reached the ankle follow the same line back to the toes. Make sure you apply lighter pressure towards the toes than the ankle. Repeat this 5 times and then perform the same technique to the sole of the foot.

2. Ankle rotation

Firstly, gentle move the ankle side to side to loosen the ankle joint. Hold the heel of the foot in a cupping motion and hold the ball of the foot with the other hand. Rotate the foot clockwise and anticlockwise 3 or 4 times to relax the foot from the ankle joint, reversing the directions will calm and de-stress her senses. Make sure you perform this technique gently.

3. Pivoting

Gently hold her foot in your hand and use the other hand to massage the sole of the foot with your thumb. Begin with the area directly below the large toe and slowly move to the other toes. After initial pressure, roll the thumb back and forth. It may be seen as wiggling the thumb. Release pressure, and move. Pivoting can be a very relaxing especially if you vary the amount of pressure being applied to the ball of the foot.

4. Kneading

Using the thumb or finger tips to knead back and forth on the sole of the foot. Kneading uses the knuckles at the second joints. "Knead" the area like dough with large pressing, rotating movements. Remember that the foot is not as adaptable as dough, so be gentle!

5. Finger Walking

Visualize the foot as a series of squares the size of the second toe (about1/2" sq.). Walk your fingers horizontally, one square to the next, and then down to the next row of squares. Massage one foot, and then the next. Begin at the big toe.

Thank you to Dr Foot for the above information. If you want to read more from him, please click on his name above and it will take you to his site.

Quotes To Think About

2008-10-10T09:53:00.001-07:00

Yesterday a dear friend and mentor of mine gave me a Book of Quotes. Reading through it, I found several I want to share with you today. Just read them and muse upon them. Have a great day!

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. - Peter Ustinov

If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving yourself. - Barbara De Angelis

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. - Henry Drummond

The first duty of love is to listen. - Paul Tillich

If you follow these great bits of advice, you will make yourself and your wife happy, I am sure!

And thanks, Jim, for the book!

How to Make My Wife Happy for $2.00 or Less

2008-10-08T08:25:00.001-07:00

The following was written by David on his blog several months ago. I found it and liked it so much that I asked him if I could re-print it here. He said "yes, as long as you remember to give me credit."

By David at his website My Two Dollars.com

Last weekend I took it upon myself to make chocolate chip cookies from scratch. Now, I am no genius in the kitchen - in fact, I try to avoid it at all costs because while I don’t mind the cooking part, I hate the cleaning up part. But anyway…last weekend I had a hankering for homemade chocolate chip cookies like my mom used to make. So without telling my wife what I was up to, I went up to the grocery store and got all the ingredients. When I walked in the door, she could not believe I was making cookies from scratch!

Over the course of the next hour or so, I mixed all the stuff together (using our huge Cuisinart Mixer that we got for our wedding and I have never used), cooked the cookies in our new convection oven (I had to use it for something!), and pulled out incredibly yummy cookies that I made with my own two hands.

The cookies were a big hit in our house - my wife said they were the best cookies ever (yea, right….) and we wolfed them all down in a few days. Am I fatter because of all the cookies? Yep. Did they make my wife happy? They sure did…and I didn’t even make them for that purpose! I just wanted cookies but instead I got a 2fer - a happy wife and some cookies.

So next time you are looking for a way to make your spouse happy and make your belly happy, try to make something homemade…what shall I make this weekend? Trust me, it works.

Mixed Weather Forecast - Mixed Communication Messages

2008-10-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

Today is a funny day weather wise - on my way in to town to see a client this morning the radio was reporting electrical outages all over the island. There had been great winds and yet where we live we were sheltered and never heard or felt anything! It was raining when I got up but by the time I was in the car driving to town the sun was shining. Coming back home later in the day the sun was still shining but the rain was falling hard enough I had to put on the wipers. BUT the sun was shining. A very confusing and mixed messages kind of day.

And how does that have anything to do with keeping your wife happy? I guess it has to do with the mixed messages. Don't give them.

Susan and Tom were husband and wife and they were having communication problems when they came to see me. Tom complained that Susan wasn't very polite to his friends. She said that she never said a bad word. Tom agreed. It wasn't the words she was saying, it was how she was acting. Her body language was screaming that his friends shouldn't be visiting while her words were sweet. No one felt comfortable.

We spent time dealing with the deeper issues and to make a long story short Susan decided that if those issues were dealt with then she could work on making her actions and her words say the same thing.

Do men do that? Do you ever do that? Say one thing and act another way? If you are saying yes or maybe to this question it could be time to take an inventory and address the issues that are underneath the mixed messages on the surface.

Don't have it raining when it should be a sun shiny day!

Two Little Acts

2008-10-06T07:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I met a couple, Ian and Ani, at a political event I was organizing. He's on the committee, it was my first time meeting with her and seeing them interact as a couple. While the speaker was up, Ani rubbed Ian's back. When I asked Ian to get up and say a few words about our campaign, he did and when he sat back down I said to him: "You were awesome! Thanks for doing that." And he replied "It's all because of my wife, she taught me everything I know." And he smiled at her.

"WOW" I thought "that was powerful".

The bond between them was given recognition by two simple acts.

This showed me that keeping his wife happy brought happiness to the husband as well.

A Day In The Life

2008-10-05T07:13:00.000-07:00

It is going to be a busy day for us today.

I started my day out by journaling and reflecting. I guess I've reached that age where I would rather write and reflect than jump out of bed and take action! Then I always like to spend a bit of time on the computer doing all the little tasks I have to do and this one is one of my favorite parts of the tasks!

After breakfast we are off to our church. It is a new one that we are going to and it is amazing. There are a lot of fabulous benefits to being a part of a community of faith and I must tell you that we come away from the service bouncing in anticipation for the upcoming week and putting our faith into action. (Note: If you aren't coming out of your church with the same bounce, I suggest checking out some others. It worked for us!)

This afternoon we are attending a Craft Fair at a Senior's residence. I sit on their board and I like to attend there events and support them. There are some fabulously talented people who sell their crafts and there are some others who just work judiciously to be a part of it. I just enjoy being there and chatting with the residents and staff. (I usually buy some things I can use as little gifts throughout the year.)

The third event on our agenda today is a wine and cheese to meet the candidate in our riding who is up for re-election to our federal government. Both Canada and the United States are having elections in the next little while. And maybe other countries too. Our media is so heavily tied into the people south of our border that we pretty much know what is going on with them just as much as we do our own country. Anyway, this little event this afternoon is only an hour for folks to come out and meet our candidate. Helmuth and my job has been to liaise with the hostess and our campaign office. We'll be there early to help set up and greet the guests. We've done a few of these now and although the numbers aren't high - I think we have to re-think our way of inviting people - by personal invitation instead of by mail drop - they are a great way for people to meet the candidate in a personal manner.

Helmuth and I both like to get involved with volunteer organizations and there are some committees he is on and some that I am on that we don't do together, and then there are things we do together. Today will be a nice together day.

Get Me Through the Day

2008-10-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just need to leave some loving words. You say it will make your day thinking about her and it'll make hers too - just thinking about you thinking about her. Warm fuzzies all day long....

2008-10-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Laugh For Your Wife's Sake!

2008-10-02T06:16:00.000-07:00

Laughter is good for the soul

Laughter is good for your relationship

Laughter is good for your health

Laughter is good for your sanity

Click here to watch the Laughter Chain and be good to yourself for your wife's sake!

Make Your Wife Happy by Showing Her Your Inner Enthusiasm

2008-10-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me recently how to be more enthusiastic. Its a good question and one that is a good one to think about in a marriage.

For some people enthusiasm is just a part of their being. We all know those people. But maybe you aren't a bubbly, outgoing person whose enthusiasm can be seen.

How does your wife know that you are enthusiastic about her? I think one way to be enthusiastic is to let her know how much you appreciate her.

My husband is the quiet type but I know he is enthusiastic about me. My husband doesn't say much - he says he believes in the principle: tell people things only on a need to know basis. As a communicator, I have a different philosophy - but that is another story. My point is that even though he doesn't say much, he does make sure I know the things that are important to me. He lets me know daily how much he loves me and how much he appreciates me. To me that is showing his enthusiasm.

If you are looking for ways to make your wife happy, try letting her know about your inner enthusiasm for her.

"Sorry" is Not a 4 Letter Word

2008-09-29T07:18:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the power of the words "I'm sorry" this morning. For those of you that watched the TV show "Happy Days" Fonzie could never say the words that indicated he made a mistake or that he was wrong and he could only stutter out half the phrase.

I think we are often like Fonzie. We have a hard time saying "I'm sorry" or "You are right, I am wrong". And yet, we like to hear it from others.

My husband is often right on things that I am wrong on. We have a good natured argument about it and then later I find out that he was right. Grrrr! I then find myself, attempting to say, "You were right" and I always think of Fonzie.

Being able to say "I'm sorry" relieves a lot of tension and allows both of us a safe space to voice our opinions without damaging the others feelings.

2008-09-27T08:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just have to take a weekend off together and enjoy the moment.
See you on Monday.

Thoughtful Ways to Make Your Wife Happy

2008-09-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is the little things that make us know we are loved. Sometimes it is the little things that just make us the happiest. Easy little tasks that not only say "I love you" but also say "This is just how I am in this relationship. This is just the kind of guy I am."

Stephen, from New Zealand, wrote a great story on his blog the other day. Stephen is the Managing Director of a couple of companies. He says he is a deep thinker and a story teller as well.

Stephen and his wife, Sonya, were out with friends one night and over the dinner conversation, Sonya mentioned that she knew Stephen loved her because he turned off her light. Every night, it seems, Stephen gets up and turns off her bedside light.

Someone asked her as she was telling the story, “You mean as he comes to bed?” … And she replied, “No, he gets out of bed and comes over and does it, even though I can reach the switch.” Sometimes she even wakes him up to turn it off. She continued … “It’s even better when I wake him up to do it.”

Stephen said, “Yeah but I grumble like crazy when that happens.” But as Sonya points out, “I do it anyway.”

I think it is like me having my husband close the bedroom door. I can’t sleep if it is open and once I’m in bed, I don’t want to get up and close it. But my husband does - even if he is already in bed or came into the room through a different door (yes we have more than one door!).

Keith brings Gaye coffee in bed in the morning – even though he doesn’t drink coffee, he makes it for her and brings it in to her each day when he is at home. She brags about it to her other women friends!

Tony makes breakfast every Sunday morning for his wife, Hazel, and serves it to her in bed. For the years that the children were growing up, they would also help out under his able tutelage.

Bruce always makes sure the kitchen is clean when he is cooking or at home. Janet says she loves that and it has even inspired her to clean up her mess when she is baking!

These are little things that Stephen, Helmuth, Keith, Tony, and Bruce do for their wives that aren’t on the official “husbands must do for their wives” list, but they do say just what Sonya said – they tell us that our husbands love us in little ways….and hey, doesn’t that make us happy? You bet!

What little thing are you doing for your wife that tells her you love her without the words?

Classic Kiss

2008-09-25T13:07:00.001-07:00

A kiss by josemanchado

2008-09-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

Kissing The Right Way

Did you know there is a “right” way to kiss? People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of left, reports John Whitfield in the journal Nature.

A scientist from Ruhr University in Germany analyzed 124 couples kissing and found that 65 percent go toward the right.

You might want to check it out the next time you kiss!

Thought for Today

2008-09-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

Don't insult your wife. Remember, one put-down can erase hours of good deeds. Be kind in your words. When you treat your wife with respect and speak accordingly, she will most likely feel special and treat you the same way.

Always proofread

2008-09-23T09:15:00.000-07:00

I have a new computer and as I was setting everything up I typed my website and blog address onto my email signature, but forgot to proofread.

I was in a meeting yesterday when a young businessman to whom I had sent an email earlier in the day hesitantly asked me about my website.

I proudly told him and then he showed me what I had sent him.

www.how to make my wife.com (I'd missed out the word 'happy'!)

No wonder why he was hesitant! I have repaired the error now!!!

Supporting Your Wife

2008-09-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

The sun is shining in my window - its morning as I write this. I just caught a glimpse of a quote that was sent to me a few days ago which says "life begins at the end of your comfort zone".

Wow, that is a challenge!

I spent all of yesterday wrestling with an issue I have been trying to figure out how to deal with and I have to say it took me out of my comfort zone and forced me to think about ways to respond to it. My adrenalin was surging!

The fortunate thing for me is that even though this has been a very personal issue and one that I have to work through on my own, my husband has been very supportive and helpful in his behaviour.

I really feel like I am part of a partnership in which we are walking together on a path. We might deal with different issues - but we are there together and for each other. I'm in my comfort zone as far as knowing I'm not alone - but I'm out of my comfort zone knowing I have to take action in an area that has been untouched by me before.

So, as a man who is looking for ways to make your wife happy, this would be my advice to you... don't be afraid when your wife is doing new and exciting things or when she is wrestling with issues....you don't have to do it for her. The important thing is that she is assured of your love and support and knows you are there beside her throughout her journey.

Keep the Feeling

2008-09-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

She was happy then - is she happy now? There will always be bumps along the way, the important thing is to know that they will only be bumps. A relationship is like a garden. You have to continually work at it to make it flourish and grow.

Taking in the Home Show

2008-09-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

We went to a home show last night. It wasn't a big home show - after all it is September and Fall here in Canada not Spring when people are thinking more about renovation. We did manage to find something to buy (always a good thing in this woman's books!). We bought a little steamer mop. Instead of washing my floor now I just steam it clean. Makes life a lot easier and this wife happier!

So there I was on a Friday night (my favorite day of the week) at 10:00 at night - cleaning my kitchen and dining room floors! When I got up this morning - they looked sparkly!!!

Important tip for today: This was not a gift - it was a purchase chosen by both of us. There is a difference between this and what a man buys for a woman as a gift. Gifts are just for her. Items like this are for the home and therefore a tool that the home needs to make it run efficiently.

Attitude IS Everything

2008-09-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

You can view more of these here

How to Listen: Points to Get You Started

2008-09-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

1. Realize that men and women process differently

2. Be present

3. Turn off the TV/computer monitor

4. Find a space without other people to disrupt you

5. Don’t try to fix the problem

6. Ask a few questions

7. Remember she is the most important person in your life (you chose to marry her)

8. Suspend judgment

9. Get your hearing checked

10. Summarize what she said when she has said it.

Get the idea? The video from Youtube I posted yesterday was the “how not to do it”….oh? you already knew that? Good!

Manley Man's Relationship Advice

2008-09-17T13:23:00.001-07:00

Have you been to Youtube lately? Here's NOT my suggestion for good listening skills for men! (Click on the link in the previous sentence.)

Quote of the Day

2008-09-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Robert Anderson

My Journey In RelationshipTraining

2008-09-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

I was 30 before I took my first course in "relationship communication" (that means I was married for 12 years by then!). I took some pretty intensive courses. Such courses as "Human Interaction Lab" and "Dealing with Power and Conflict Lab". When I was finished that series of 6 over the course of a few years, I plunged into Reality Therapy and Choice Theory Training.

All of this training was interactive - that means there was lots of "on the ground" feedback about my own behavior and communication skills as we practised our skills to use back in the real world.

But even with all of that training and feedback it took me awhile to 'get it' when I got home and remember to put it into use.

My first job in this area was teaching the skills at a community college to business students. I remember a day when I was teaching my students how to give effective feedback (no global statements, use "I", don't blame just describe the situation etc). I went to bed that night just before my husband. Then he came into bed and left the bathroom light on (as was his habit). I roused myself enough to say "You ALWAYS leave that damned light on. Can't you EVER learn to turn it off????"

And then I heard myself, doing all the things I taught my students not to do in one statement!!! The light bulb went on in my mind! I was teaching it but I wasn't using it! And that was the turning point in my journey to better communication.

Relationship communication and behavior can be learned at any age. If some of us were lucky enough to have good role models as children, that's great. If others have to take training as an adult, good on you! Go for it! It changed my life and made it so much happier!

Relationship Training 101

2008-09-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

I heard recently that 49% of marriages in North America end in divorce. I’m not sure how accurate this statistic is, but its enough to make a person think about why is the rate so high?

Why don’t they teach children in school how to live in a relationship? Why don’t they teach children in school how to be a good parent? The skills that they teach in school are important – arithmetic, reading, writing but there are more skills that are so basic to our human survival that I think they should be taught when we are young.

Relationships are so important to having a good life and to raising a well adjusted family and yet we get little formal training on how to live or act in relationship.

Women and men are wired differently from each other. We don’t think, feel, act or mature in the same ways. And so when we are in relationship with each other we are often confused about what will work best for us.

Biologically we are made to need each other. We are wired to keep our species going. We have learned that babies who are fed but not loved die from that lack of love. We know that relationships are not just a convenience of our modern day but a biological need to survive.

We also know that people who stay married and don’t divorce are financially better off.

And mostly there are the children to consider: I remember my 23 year old son saying to me at the time of my divorce to his father…. “I was the only one of my friends who had parents who weren’t divorced. I was always so proud of that fact, and now you are letting me down.” My daughter’s children are young teenagers now and she is divorced from their father. The boys go back and forth between homes. Fortunately both parents live in the same neighborhood but I have seen the difficulties that it causes.

So why don’t we spend more time learning how to do our relationships right? That’s why I have become such a strong advocate of good communication skills and why I have been focusing on “how to keep my wife happy dot com”.

Here are some thoughts for this morning about what we need to keep our relationship healthy.

1. Some people expect their spouse of the opposite sex to be just like them and then get frustrated when they aren’t. Here’s the morning news: The sexes ARE different.

2. Some people don’t take responsibility for the relationship. Each partner in a relationship needs to take 110% responsibility for its health and happiness.

3. Don’t just know who your partner is but understand who they are. Take time to listen to their hopes and dreams and reasons for their hopes and dreams.

4. Realize that quitting the relationship isn’t an option – working out life’s troubles is the better way to go.

Thanks to Deborah Tannen, Gloria MacDonald and Eric Berne for the work that they have done on this subject to help me understand how to help others.

Just Fun Stuff for a Saturday Morning

2008-09-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

This is totally off-topic. But laughter is good for both husbands and wives so have a chuckle.

Just a couple of fun pictures I found here. Trees eating motorcycle and park bench.....and there are more pictures that were funny but you can pop over there and see them if you want.
Have a great Saturday! (or whatever day you are reading this!!!)

I Love Friday Nights

2008-09-12T07:52:00.001-07:00

I love Friday nights because it is the beginning of 2 days marked for fun, relaxation and doing something different than we typically do from Monday to Friday. Friday night always finds us spending some time with friends - for dinner or a drink - tonight we are having a friend over who we haven't seen for awhile and we just called him up and said "It's time" and he agreed.

The weather is still nice in this part of the world so our friends who have bikes will be out on the highways feeling the call of the "wild" over the next couple of days. Our weekend will be different. Helmuth is taking a course related to his spirituality and I will be working with our local federal candidate to get him re-elected in our elections which are coming up on Oct 14th.

That's two of the ways that my husband keeps me happy. We do lots and lots of stuff together but we also follow our own interests and do things on our own. And we celebrate Friday nights together!

Have a great weekend.

Project Husband Project Wife

2008-09-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

I like to do projects with my husband. We have fun together and we get something accomplished either for ourselves or for someone else.

What is a project?

A project, by definition, is a temporary activity with a starting date, specific goals and conditions, defined responsibilities, a budget, a planning, a fixed end date and multiple parties involved. You know what you have to do, do it, once, and that's the end of it. That's a project. (http://www.softwareprojects.org/project_intake_reasons22.htm)

So that could be painting the house or reseeding the lawn, but I want to talk about one that was just FUN and didn't have the opportunity for divorce (I've always lived by the notion that if a couple can wallpaper a room together their marriage can survive anything).

This summer we took on a cool project. We volunteered for the Tall Ships Festival in Victoria BC. So, everyday, from Thursday through to Sunday, we got up early, drove downtown, parked our car miles away from the coast, had a morning walk through the city to the harbor, got ourselves a coffee at one of the little kiosks along the way and then set to work.

Helmuth was a host in the Volunteer Tent and I was a Volunteer Coordinator running around making sure that the volunteers were all where they should be and helping them out with any difficulties they were having.

We had lunch and often supper at the Festival. And then we went home and crashed for the night! All that fresh salty sea air gave us a really good night's sleep!

We got to tour cool sailing vessels when we weren't 'on duty'. We got to meet all sorts of neat people. Oh, and we were supplied with very nice t-shirts for doing the task that say "Tall Ships" on them.

The week after the Festival there was a party for all the volunteers at the Yacht Club. I teased people that I just did the job for the party afterward. Not true but definitely one of the perks!

We had our 14 year old grandson visiting from out of town that weekend and he was a volunteer too. I think the real highlight of the Festival for both Helmuth and me was the fact that our grandson was with us and that we could spend the time doing something fun with him.

So why am I writing about this? I think a project is a great way to take the routine out of your marriage and do something totally different and exciting. It doesn't have to be building a new house or a trip across the globe that costs thousands of dollars. It can be something as simple as creating a vegetable garden, taking on a volunteer project, or taking a course together.

I'd be happy to hear stories about any project that you and your wife have done together.

Nine Phrases Every Man Should Understand

2008-09-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

Here is a must see for every husband out there. Its a cute little video and it made me smile because I have heard myself say these.

How did I find this video? On Stumble Upon. I'll tell you a little secret; my web browser is Mozilla Firefox. "Stumble Upon" is a program that runs on Firefox apparently (and not on Explorer). Being a member of Stumble Upon allows you to click and see a new website. Its fun and it saves wondering how to find new sites on a particular subject. If I like a site I can add it to Stumble and then other people will see it too.

Someone put my website on Stumble Upon, and now I am waiting for someone to add my blog to Stumble. It generates a lot of traffic! (I don't think you can put your own site on or I would have.)

Have a great day and may you still clear of 8 of those 9 words explained on the video!

When You've Been Married Too Long

2008-09-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Win, for this great joke!

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three
Will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black
Leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the
Woman of My life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the
Leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.
When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

The married woman:
I sent the kids to my mother's house for the night.
When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said,
'Hey Batman what's for dinner?'

Survey for the Wives

2008-09-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

To further my on-going research, I have created a survey for wives to answer. The survey will be available until September 30th. If you are a wife - happy or unhappy - I want your opinions. Husbands - well, you can read about it in my up-coming e-book!

To answer the survey, click on the words 'survey for wives' above.

Differences Between Man & Woman Explained

2008-09-08T08:30:00.001-07:00

I can't give credit to this picture because it just showed up in an email. It's too good not to share. I'm not sure who it is poking fun at - but I think we can all have a good chuckle. And of course this image just affirms the point that men probably do need help understanding how to push the right buttons on their women. That big red one doesn't look safe....or does it? lol

Gourmet Jello Shots For The Woman You Love

2008-09-07T21:43:00.000-07:00

Our friend, Judd Hall, in Seattle is into Jello Shots - Gourmet Jello Shots. These used to be those silly little drinks that college kids drank...but now they are making a comeback with all sorts of folks - and seem to be a particular favorite of some women we know. Its kinda fun so I thought I would share this information with you.

Here's an excerpt from an article from Judd's website:

Jello Shooters Renaissance

As a result, there is a resurgence in the popularity of Jello Shooters – particularly gourmet Jello Shooters with exotic and involved recipes – at higher end parties, even weddings and 50^th wedding anniversaries.

With the flexibility of flavors and combinations, you can theme Jello Shooters to your party. For example, if you are having a Summer Luau, why not Caribbean Blue, Mai Tai, Key Lime Pie, and Daquiri Jello Shooters?

For weddings, try Coconut Rum Jello Shooters, Wedding Cake Jello Shooters, and Strawberry Cheesecake Jello Shooters.

For Cinco de Mayo, try Tequila Jello Shooters, Margarita Jello Shooters, and Tequila Sunrise Jello Shooters, and how about putting a gummy worm in the bottom of the Margarita or Tequila ones? The gummy worm takes up a little more volume of the Jello Shooter – reducing the total amount of alcohol per serving, and slows down consumption, while also getting you 1-2 extra Jello Shooters per batch.

For dinner parties, a particular favorite of mine are Red Wine Jello Shooters for dinner parties, made with 3-4 different red wines in my region. I like to intersperse them with Red Hot Cinnamon Jello Shooters to cleanse the palate."

So maybe you would like to try making a few for your wife...I bet you'd make her happy!

Marriage Teamwork

2008-09-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

We had a birthday party at our house last night complete with goodie bags, balloons, noisemakers, a really yummy dinner and chocolate raspberry cake with candles. (We skipped the party hats although I was tempted to buy tiaras for the birthday girls!) There were two birthday girls - ok, they aren't really girls - they are mature women in the prime of their lives and careers.

My husband and I shared the meal cooking, we had out our best china and it was an 'event'. The Jazz music was playing in the background.

It is nice to take on an event like this together and honor someone else. The birthday girls told us they had a lot of fun however I think much of the fun came for Helmuth and me in the preparing the event and working together on it. It certainly made 'this wife' happy! I double checked with my husband and he said "I love doing that kind of stuff with you, you know that!"

Laugh Break

2008-09-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

It is always good to have a little laugh at our own expense.

This link takes you to Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0

This link takes you to the same but changing from Boyfriend to Husband and is entitled "And I thought Windows Vista had issues...."

Enjoy and laugh, laugh, laugh....it's good for the soul and your blood pressure!

What Makes A Wife Cranky?

2008-09-05T09:32:00.000-07:00

What makes a wife cranky? And for that matter, what makes a husband cranky? I was thinking about this when I woke up this morning.

Last night we had a perfect wonderful evening. My husband, who seems to be the one who enjoys cooking the evening meals these days, made a lovely supper that involved bbqed steak and fried mushrooms. After dinner we attended a talk on a subject we are both interested in. At the talk we visited with people that we know and enjoy seeing. We were pleased we went. We learned new things that challenged our thinking and our beliefs.

But we were cranky.

What were we cranky about? The talk was a 20 minute drive from our house. When we got close to the area my husband admitted that he didn't know where it was and wanted me to tell him. I realized that although I knew I could get there, it wasn't a place I frequently went and it might take a bit of guesswork to get there. Now, if I was driving, there would be no problem, I'd just guess and turn and jig and jag until I found it. But I wasn't driving. So I said "Turn here". 'Turn here' turned out to be a dead end street. So, we retraced our steps and instead of turning back on to the road we had turned off of and continuing in the same direction, we turned the other way to take the previous 'turning'. Bad idea. That road was blocked off. Anyway, it took us a good 10 minutes extra to circle around the area and get to where we were going.

Personally, I like touring around in a car, checking out the roads - and we had left in time to do this and not be late. My husband not so much! I made some 'wrong' decisions that didn't take us in a straight line to the place and he wasn't impressed!

But that was him being cranky. And it made me cranky that he wasn't enjoying himself.

After the talk, and as we were leaving the building, I was leading the way and he was following....or not. When I got outside, I turned to say something and no husband behind me or in sight. I went back in. He'd stop to pile chairs. Good on him, but he could have told me. Really, no big deal - right? Hmmmph! (Can you read the crankiness in my words?)

As we are driving home a favorite song of my husband's comes on the radio but the song was not by the usual male singer, but by a woman. It sounded sweet. I commented on its sweetness. He tells me it was too wimpy, it lacked passion. It was too mechanical. I thought it was soothing, and romantic and too be inhaled and enjoyed. In the end, I became that which I hate....defensive and whiney. I told him to be quiet I didn't want to hear his silly ideas anymore.

And with that we were home, and I went to bed with a book. I don't know what time he came to bed, I was sleeping by the time he did!

So what makes us like that? It really was silly. All of it. Why do we argue over little things that really are of no consequence - or are they?

I think that sometimes we just have to accept that we aren't going to be on the same page emotionally as the other person. And we certainly aren't going to agree on every little thing. But why do we get grouchy and grumpy about it? Would we act that way with a friend? I know I wouldn't. I'd hold my tongue, or I would laugh and say something that would find a bridge between us. Like "Yes, the song does cater to different audiences depending on the person who is singing it." And we'd both laugh and find something else to chat about.

I guess I wonder why we leave our good social skills at the door when we are relating to our spouse. Perhaps I should think about that more. And if it rings any bells for you, well, perhaps you should too.

Don't become Bitter - Become Better

2008-09-04T10:48:00.000-07:00

Cruising around the 'net I found a website that is anti marriage and pro being single. Now, I don't have a problem with people who choose to be single or who are single because the right person has not come along yet, but I do have a problem with people who are just upset with the whole marriage/relationship gig. As a matter of fact, I want to put my arm around them and ask them to tell me about it....and then find ways to help them be happier.

I read through the article on the site (I've posted part of it below along with a link for you to follow it to their site and read it) and I checked out "who we are" and the names all started with a descriptor "mad" "bitter" "pissed" "loveless." These are not terms I would ever want associated with my name - or my husband's name. Yes, making your partner happy - "making my wife happy" and therefore yourself happier is a much better aim in life. And it works!

Here's an excerpt and the link to Marriage Sucks.

"The next thing you know, you're a bitter, romantically deprived, sexless, emotional disaster. That ring on your finger feels like a garrote around your neck. You feel as though you've been herded into mental slavery. You think back to your wedding day and that walk down the isle doesn't seem so pristine anymore. In fact, it feels as though that walk was like that of a deathrow inmate on his way down the prison corridor for the last time. That's right. Your married and half the time you're wishing you were dead , the other half wishing it was your spouse. What happened to all the rhetoric about the everlasting bond and life-long joy of married life?

"The greatest myth ever to deceive humanity is the myth of marriage. We've all been duped into believing that marriage is the end-all remedy to our loneliness; that tying the knot is a mandatory function we all must seek during our brief tenure on earth. Wake up people! It's time to face the chilling reality. Marriage isn't a cure for our want of companionship, it's the disease of imprisonment. You'll be pleading to be euthanized in no time at all as millions upon millions have already found out. Look at the marriage world around you. Divorce is at an all-time high and while the "experts" toil over the tedious statistics, trying to psycho-analyze and negotiate a solution to the crisis, those of us who've been to hell and back are frantically trying to warn the oh-so-envied singles of the impending doom that awaits them if they elect to tie the noose...er, the knot."

Ok! Read enough????? Not a great take on life, right? Go tell her you love her and kiss her on the back of the neck!!! I'm going to find Helmuth and do that to him.....

A Dream Realized

2008-09-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

I want to share with you an article by Pat Nichol, a woman who has been writing and speaking to men and women about how to have happier lives for many years. In this article, Pat talks about a married couple who have achieved a dream they had together. I think it fits in very well with the theme "How to make my wife happy." Enjoy the read.

One foot at a time, one day at a time, one dream at a time. What
is your wildest dream, what courageous, outrageous thing have
you always wanted to do? During the months of writing this
column, I have asked this question often. I hope that it has
made you think of something that you must do before you die.
This month the story is about two people who love and live to
sing. Dorothy & Mel have been singing in choirs all of their
lives. Dorothy sang professionally as a younger woman. They have
lived in the US and in Canada and are usually singing in several
choirs at once.

When you think about singers, what would be the most exciting
place a singer could possibly be? For those singers in North
America, one of the pinnacles of achievement would be to sing on
stage at Carnegie Hall in New York.

Late last year, Dorothy and Mel found out that they had the
opportunity to sing with a choir on stage at Carnegie Hall. One
step at a time, one day at a time, one dream at a time. By the
time you read this column, they will have achieved one of their
dreams. Actually, it wasn’t even a dream, who would think that
someone from a small town in British Columbia, someone in their
70’s might even dare to dream about singing on stage at
Carnegie Hall. However dream or fantasy, it did happen. On March
13th 2006, Dorothy and Mel and 198 other voices sang and allowed
their voices to soar out into the universe. They chose to be
courageous and some might say outrageous, they chose to live a
dream, a fantasy.

How do I know all this, I know because I was sitting in the
audience at Carnegie Hall when they walked out on stage. With
pride and joy and a knowing that what was happening on that
stage was so far beyond a dream as to be a fantasy. But here was
fantasy coming true. An opportunity for two people who have been
singing all their lives to reach a pinnacle. In the film, Music
of the Heart, Meryl Streep comments on taking that step onto the
stage at Carnegie Hall. I know that Mel and Dorothy felt the
same.

Pat Nichol is an international speaker, author and coach. She
writes a monthly column for Senior Living magazine based in
Victoria BC Canada. Becoming Courageous and Outrageous was her
second book title and is the title of her monthly column.

More on Japanese Husbands & Wives

2008-09-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

"TOKYO (Reuters Life!) - Almost 40 percent of Japanese married couples speak to each other less than 30 minutes a day, with more wives than husbands contemplating divorce, a recent survey revealed."

This is an interesting article and although it is set in Japan, I know there are similar stories around the world! It is really time these husbands took time out of their careers to find out "how to make my wife happy".

The story goes on to say:

"More Japanese wives have considered divorce than their husbands. The survey showed that nearly half the number of women surveyed had thought of divorcing their husband in the past, compared to a third of the men."

And the conclusion? If men are spending too much time after work hours drinking and smoking without their wives, perhaps, the article says, "the key lies in quitting drinking and smoking."

I'd say there is more to solution than just doing that, however, it could be a good start.

Enjoy the article! (click on the hyperlink in the first paragraph above)

Long Weekend

2008-09-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

Its a long weekend and its Monday morning. We're just lazing about enjoying the sunshine and the quietness of the day. I'm sitting with a knitted blanket on my legs, a laptop computer on my lap (where else?) and a dog cuddled up beside me. Helmuth is sitting close by, reading the paper and reporting to me the important things I need to know from it. Its an idyllic kind of morning.

How could a wife be happier? I guess a cup of coffee would be nice...and its my husband that is brewing it! mmmm...

Tonight we are looking forward to having friends over to play cards with us. We haven't had a good card game for a few months now. We were golfing with them last week. This is a couple that I used to golf with daily a few years back when both Yvonne and I were off for the summer (I was teaching at a college and she was teaching in an elementary school). Those were the years when my golf score actually improved! Now, when we go out, we often don't even count our score! But we will be keeping score at cards tonight....no messing around here....I'm a serious card player!!!!

If you have a holiday where you live, I hope that you are making the most of it and that you and your wife and your whole family can find things to do to make you happy and to celebrate life.

Love from
Your Happy Relationship Mentors

howtomakemywifehappy

2008-08-31T16:24:00.001-07:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Japanese Men Want to Make Their Wives Happy

2008-08-29T17:17:00.001-07:00

According to the Washington Post, the men in Japan are now looking for ways to make their wives happy. There is a club that men now frequent to learn how to say "I love you" and to learn other ways to make their wives happy.

According to the Post it is because there is a new law in Japan that allows women to take 50% of the husband's pension. So now men are looking at how to keep their pension. Hmmmm.....do you really think that is the only reason they want to make their wives happy?

Read the stories in the Washington Post and tell me what you think.

Faces To Make My Wife Happy

2008-08-27T19:17:00.001-07:00

This is just a funny little video I found on YouTube tonight that an older man made and if you need a chuckle, you might chuckle at this. Or not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq6M4NXT55Y

Let's see if you can get there from here.

Laurie

The Relationship Mentors At Home

2008-08-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

When I read websites and articles on the Internet I always wonder about the people who are writing the articles. And sometimes they tell me and I am happy. And so, for all of you who are wondering about us, I thought I'd tell you a few facts that will help you picture us.

We are Canadians! (and Canada has just won 18 medals at the Beijing Summer Olympics! Yaay!)

We live in a beautiful little city on the tip of an island on the western side of the continent. We live in a pretty little house which is surrounded by Maple, Oak, Arbutus and Fir trees. Out our kitchen window is a waterfall! Not too far a walk from our front door is a path up a hill that affords a view of the city and the harbor. And yet we live in a suburb of the city with neighbours all around us too!

We live here with our dog, Jujube (see picture). Our children are grown up and have not lived at home for many years now. We do enjoy the grandchildren visits!

Although Helmuth has lived on three continents, I have only lived in one 500 mile area. Its exciting working on the 'net now and connecting with people from around the world.

We like to spend our time together and I (Laurie) will testify that my husband knows how to make me happy. I do my best to reciprocate.

We are both introverts (people who recharge their batteries by being on their own) but we do like to socialize and have a network of good friends for dinner parties, vacations, games nights and just generally hanging out.

We only met 14 years ago and have been happily married (second time for both of us) for 11 of those years. It took me a fair amount of talking to convince my man that marriage was a better option than just moving in together. And I did convince him. And if you ask him - he'll tell you he has no regrets!

I hope you enjoy this little snapshot of us.

Thai Food and Relationship Talk

2008-08-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

We had supper at a great little Thai restaurant on Saturday night with a 30+ woman last night who is currently single. The food was really yummy – I had the Pineapple Fried Rice with Prawns, tomatoes and cashews. Mmmm.

But this blog isn’t about food – it is about relationships! So let me tell you what our friend told us about her latest relationship. Let’s call her Tanya (so she doesn’t phone me up and yell at me for telling all her secrets on the web!).

Tanya is a nurse and works in a busy downtown hospital on the surgery ward. Some days things get pretty intense on her watch. It had been one of those totally stressful days when “mister new man in her life” came along and took her out for coffee because she was having a bad day. He ordered the coffees, chatted a bit about his software business and when she was suitably settled and sipping on the latte he stop chatting and looked her directly in the eyes and said “OK, tell me about your day now.” And he just sat there, listening and nodding. Tanya said it was the greatest experience having her man just listen to her and not offer advice. She felt better about her day and was becoming definitely interested in this new man in her life.

Tanya went on to tell us that she has a male roommate – a cousin – who is in town for a 6 month contract and he has a different way of communicating. When she has a conversation with him, he is quick to interject “Did you try this” “You should do this” “It would be best if you approached it this way”. Tanya said “It is so frustrating to have a conversation with him because I feel like I’m constantly being judged and told what to do”.

Tip for men: Women need to feel their man is listening. Men can help by learning the "Mantra for Men" and practicing it often, saying to themselves, again and again... Just listen, don't give advice. Just listen, don't give advice. Just listen, don't give advice.

Is this advice helpful?

2008-08-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

Here are two pictures from our dinner cruise. You can't see a picture of us necking....that wouldn't be polite. Ok, no one took that picture!

2008-08-23T08:42:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here thinking about all the things I would like to say and because I am sharing this blog with my husband I'm wondering if he will think I'm being too wordy. He is "terse" - I am not. Whenever we are out, I am the chatty one and he adds one or two words to the conversation. We'll see if he gets chatty on the blog.

I read something last night that reminded me about Deborah Tannen's work on how men and women differ. Men don't ask for directions and women do. Well, guess what???? I have a great sense of direction and get myself anywhere I want to go. I can figure it out. My husband, on the other hand, asks for directions right out of the gate! We laugh that we are opposite on this point, and it just goes to show that no one is a stereotype - we are all unique. Guidelines, theories and helps are all just that - guidelines and a step up but should always be evaluated to your unique situation.